10 Ways I Suck At Life

Hello!

 

This is a very lighthearted post-a friend read the title on my planning and was a bit taken aback, but it’s really meant as a silly, poking fun at myself sort of post. Don’t take it too seriously lovelies!

 

  1. I live in mess, constantly.

 

This isn’t ENTIRELY my fault. When my last union job ended I had to move back from my house in Darlington to my Mum’s in West Yorkshire, and quite quickly. I basically moved a house worth of stuff into a bedroom (and a bit in the loft and at my Grandma’s.) I KNOW I have too much stuff, but I am terrible at decluttering-just can’t be ruthless with my stuff. I love it all!

 

  1. I cannot manage half of the makeup trickery that normal people can.

 

Contouring? Looks gorgeous-can’t do it. Eyeliner? Nope, no cat eyes or perfect flicks for me. I don’t even understand what Strobing IS. But, I look alright really, and I’m hella good at doing my brows, so it’s not all bad.

 

  1. I just can’t keep plants alive.

 

Speaks for itself, this one. Never give me plants, they will die. I so want to be green fingered though. Boo.

 

  1. If you text me at an inconvenient moment, you’ll probably never receive a reply.

 

If you have my number then I like you, I really do-but if you’ve text whilst I’m blogging, or when I’m at work and I’ve half read it, or your text has come through when I’m on a long drive-I will probably forget to reply. Do give me a nudge and don’t take it personally. Or tweet me, I never miss a tweet! *rolls eyes at loser self*

 

  1. I am THE WORST at planning.

 

Well, I’m good at planning-I have spreadsheets and lists and all sorts for this blog. But do I implement any of them? Rarely! I find I’m best when I’m doing something off the cuff, to be honest.

 

 

  1. I am USELESS with directions. And remembering the way somewhere. And choosing the quickest route.

 

My ex’s friends used to laugh at me because everytime I drove us all anywhere, I went a really random route. I just can’t work out in my brain which way is quickest so I take whichever route takes my fancy. And I never remember the way somewhere. I know people who can just drive to a faraway town-not me. I choose a car with a built in sat nav for a reason, and I tell people it’s always on because it tells me where the traffic is (it does!) so I don’t look quite as stupid.

 

  1. I can’t park.

 

No word of a lie, if a parking space involves reversing, or parallel parking, I will generally find another one. I CAN do it, sometimes-but I don’t practice enough and I hate it.

 

  1. I use a diary for about a week and then forget about it, and double book myself. ALL THE TIME.

 

Okay so I attend lots of events. I get invited to even more. The only way to keep track of where I’m meant to be and when is to write it down. In my diary. That I have currently lost. FAIL.

 

  1. I’ve already failed one of my November Goals and it’s only the 6th.

 

Post every day in November-easy right? Apart from I forgot to post yesterday. D’oh!

 

  1. I just can’t read people.

 

So you want to be friends? Tell me. Ask for my number. Because I’m clueless. And if you’re a man, well-no bloody idea whether you’re being friendly or flirty or something totally different. Just tell me, save us both the time and effort. Ill be here until next November trying to figure you out. Even if you come back to my hotel room for a cuppa-I won’t click on that you’re interested. Oops.

 

What are your ‘I suck at life’ moments?

 

Laura xx

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