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Inside Laura's Head

Leeds based Food, Travel and Lifestyle Blog

Mental Health and Fibromyalgia

Being Honest-What’s Going On

January 9, 2020 Leave a Comment

We’ve all seen those ‘what have you achieved these last ten years’ tweets going round and, if you’d asked me a few weeks ago, I would’ve said a lot. I’ve had jobs I loved, jobs I hated but learnt a lot from, made friends and lost friends, found a love of travel and bought a house. And the thing I was probably happiest about, fallen completely and utterly in love and found my future. I had big plans for us, our home, our family, and how our lives were going to look. Well LOL the universe was clearly laughing at me, wasn’t it?

Fast forward to now via some awful news, heartbreak and realising sometimes people say things they don’t mean and I’m starting 2020 single and struggling with that. The last eight weeks have been incredibly difficult but they’ve shown me I have some fantastic people around me, supporters I didn’t even know would be there-but they are. They’ve also taught me that despite how long you’ve been friends, some people won’t be there for you even when you’re at your lowest, and I guess that’s okay. Less hassle carrying on crap friendships right?

2020 was absolutely going to be an amazing year for me, and him. I was sorting our finances, lots of travel together, plenty of good food, good company, family time. Then I realised I don’t need him for that stuff, I can do it on my own, with my supporters whenever they want to join in. So I’m moving into my new home mid January, once all my painting is finished and my new carpets are laid. I’m getting my debt paid off and plenty of flights booked (six new countries at least) I’m making the house mine, adding my own personality into each room without having to consider anyone else’s tastes, and I’m going to push this blog forward too. I have big 2020 plans and I’m feeling (in my good moments) a hell of a lot more positive than I was when my relationship ended after my boyfriend of eight months blocked me on Facebook. Yep, harsh.

Since then I’ve been in a bit of a daze, trying to process what happened during our relationship, some of the things he put me through and the things I put myself through. I’m trying to learn from it, learn how important I should be, how I should put myself first, and what normal looks like. I think it’ll be a while before I recognise that fully. I suspect this time next year I might be there but for now, I won’t be going near any sort of relationship. I’m not ready, and that’s okay.

I plan to talk about this more fully on the blog, when I feel ready. I will share as much as I can without hurting other people, innocent people, who are involved, but today I wanted to simply acknowledge I’ve been through some horrible stuff recently. I’m dealing with it, and I’ll get through it. I know I will.

Previous:
2020 Goals, Planning And Looking Forward
Next:
48 Hours In Porto

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About Me

Welcome to my little corner of the Internet! I'm Laura, a 33 year old Yorkshire girl aiming to see as much of the world as I can, usually by myself. I'm a big fan of animal print, bright lipstick, gin liqueurs, cocktails, photography, writing and booking flights. I'm in love with a Lhasapoo called Buster and if I don't have my phone, laptop or a camera in my hand, you probably need to ask if I'm feeling okay. I blog about short city breaks, usually solo, on a budget without a hostel in sight. I also cover food reviews, life with Fibromyalgia, and there's a bit of lifestyle content thrown in when the mood takes me. I'm aiming to have visited 40 different countries before I turn 40, so I have 7 years left. Coronavirus has slightly changed my plans for 2020 but so far I'm 17 countries into the challenge and as long as September and October remain safe to travel I'm adding Czech Republic, Hungary, Austria, Romania, Serbia and a couple of others to the list before this year ends. I love working with brands on sponsored/collaborative content and if you're a travel or food related company, or just someone you think I'll love, please do get in touch.

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Went on a lovely sunny walk with @busternoodlehalf Went on a lovely sunny walk with @busternoodlehalfapoodle today. Look at his smiling face
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