I may not quite be in my 40s or 50s just yet (ask me on a bad Fibromyalgia day and I’ll swear I am!) but at 32, I’m already finding dating after a fair few years of being single difficult. I can imagine that when you are over 50 dating can be a whole different ball game. These are people who, when dating as teenagers, would ring their date from the local phone box, make an arrangement and stick to it, take some terrible quality photographs in the photobooth and get the last bus home after a few drinks. These days dating is more about Tinder, whether they’ve liked your latest selfie on Instagram, why they’ve just followed that girl on Twitter, and how do you know when you should be Facebook official?
Add to this the complicated lives people in their 40s and 50s may have lived-they’re more likely to have been divorced, have children, still be stuck with a mortgage with their ex, or personal debt-and you can understand why some people feel it’s not worth bothering. I disagree, though, as I’ve seen friends settle down when we’ve got older, one becoming a fantastic step mum, another dealing perfectly with complicated ex issues, and I’ve been a shoulder to cry on for others-if you like someone, it’s worth the stresses.
If you’re older and struggling with the whole social media obsessed world (and lets face it, who isn’t-I love my social channels but even I need a break sometimes) think about coming off it, or at least rarely using Facebook, Instagram etc. It’s worth remembering that the couples who are posting the ‘we’re so in love’ ‘boy did good’ statuses aren’t sharing the arguments they’re having at 3am about who didn’t lock the door and whether the bins need to go out, but that doesn’t mean these things aren’t normal. Everyone has cross words, argues and disagrees sometimes, however old you are, it’s just that in your 40s when you have children who might need to ring you, you can’t turn your phone off to ignore your partner like someone in their early 20s could.
I’m glad I’ve made the decision to reconsider my single status and think about dating, it’s actually made me realise that the men I dated in my 20s were more boys than men, who didn’t know how to treat anyone properly, let alone a partner. It turns out that as men age, they become kinder, more respectful, and who doesn’t love that? (Apologies to the men out there who were always lovely, that’s a sweeping generalisation!) It is kind of nice to not be caring about who someone follows on Facebook because they’re not even on Facebook, and feel reassured that unlike when you were at school, they’re not telling their friends everything about you! It’s a whole new world, and it’s one I like a lot.
If you are older and looking to start dating again, you can check out older-dating.com to help you to find like minded people. Do you have any tips on dating in your 40s or 50s compared to in your teens and 20s?