We’ve all had that horrible moment of realisation with a friendship. The moment when you know that they’re only hanging around with you because they want something. Maybe it’s because you work together and they want to have a work friend, or they’re using you because you drive them around a lot, or you babysit for them. Sometimes it’s as simple as you flatter their ego. But all of these friendships have something in common-they’re not really that arsed about you, they are in fact fake friends.
When I lost my job in July, I really found out who my true friends were. One of my supposedly close friends didn’t even bother to get in touch, and I’ve not heard from her since. One messaged for a small amount of time, but when she realised I couldn’t tell her all the gossip from my old job she cancelled on me a few times and then hasn’t responded to my suggestion to let me know when she’s free since October. Ahh well, her loss. I’m kind of glad, because chasing people when they clearly don’t want to see you, is pretty soul destroying. So I stopped, and I’m glad I stopped.
But, it’s not all bad. There’s someone I worked with, who I got on really well with. We talked a lot at work, we vented to each other and we laughed a lot. I rarely saw him outside of work-sometimes lots of us went for Friday night drinks, but I didn’t see him otherwise. We messaged via Facebook some nights but mostly it was a work only friendship, and that was cool with me. But-when the shit hit the fan, and I started having disciplinary meetings and lots of hassle, I asked him to come with me for moral support. Not only did he come with me, he argued my case. And, when I lost my job, his last words as I left were ‘don’t be a stranger’. In the last seven months I’ve met up with him for a drink and a catch up approximately once a fortnight. Friends like that, the real ones-well they absolutely make up for the dead wood, in my opinion. And I’m lucky to have a good few of those.