So I’m reaching that age now, where all of my friends are being proper adults. Meeting boyfriends, getting engaged, buying houses, and having children. I really don’t feel old enough for any of this to be happening, but I AM nearly 30-it’s the right time.
It can be difficult to know what to do when your friend is having a baby. I do have a couple of friends who had children young (one at 14, one at 16-but my reaction then was totally different, although I tried to be as supportive as possible) I just couldn’t comprehend what having a baby was ACTUALLY like. Not many can, at that age.
When George at Asda asked me if I wanted to team up with them to write about how to be a good friend when your friend is having a baby, I was pleased to accept. My friend Natalie was pregnant at the time I agreed (she has since had baby Summer, who is just gorgeous) and I knew exactly what I wanted to say.
Keep the secret
You may find out about her pregnancy before a lot of people-Nat told me at about 9 weeks, because we do a sport together that she wasn’t going to be able to whilst pregnant. It was difficult to keep it to myself because I was excited, and because friends of mine asked how she was a few times. I did tell the dog because I had to tell SOMEONE. The dog was pretty nonplussed.
Sometimes your friend is going to feel rubbish about their appearance, worried they won’t be a good mum, panicking about something to do with the pregnancy. Being a good friend is about listening, giving advice if you can (if she’s feeling like none of her clothes suit her and there’s an outfit you love her in that you know still fits, say so!) and just telling her you KNOW she’ll be an awesome mum because she’s all round awesome already.
Your friend’s baby is A BIG DEAL. Maybe not the most important thing in your life, but it probably is in hers. So, show an interest. Ask her if she’s thought of any names yet. Ask to see scan photos and coo over them. Be as happy to see the clothes she’s bought for baby as you would be to see the dress she’d chosen for a night out.
Don’t forget Dad
It’s easy to put all of the focus on the mum to be, and forget about the father. Presuming you know him well, talk to him about how he’s feeling about the pregnancy. Get excited with him. Tell him he’ll be a great Dad. Don’t leave him out, basically.
And when baby comes…
Don’t push going to see her. Make it clear you want to go and meet baby, but also make it clear that you aren’t going to impose. When you get there, offer to do something productive-does she need tea making or the washer putting on? If she’s breastfeeding (or even if she’s not) take her favourite chocolates. And definitely buy a brilliant present for the baby.
You can read George at Asda’s tips on how to be the best bestie when your friend is having a baby, and I recommend you do.
What would your top tip be for when your friend is having a baby?